Girls Logic. Hard to understand it sometimes isn’t it? Well, if you are one of the people who think so, today you are in luck. I would like to shed some light to a few of the least-understood habitual characteristics of many of my kind. I seem to be in a festive mood and I’m feeling all philanthropic with information regarding the secrets behind some of the behaviours us girls display. Yes, we are quite the extraordinary beings: needing twenty pillows on our beds, twice as many beauty products, and thrice as many pairs of shoes. We just do. And today, I get to discuss 5 things that the world does not seem to understand about girls…
1. Why we need so many clothes, handbags, and shoes- No we are not serial hoarders; we just see the need to have that many skirts, and blouses, and dresses, and shoes, and handbags, and trousers. They say men are visual beings, apparently so are we. Sometimes we just cannot unsee or ignore that pretty dress or pair of heels on display. Especially if it’s on sale! Who knows when I would be invited to a particular event that needs that particular dress?! Plus we don’t have 30 pairs of shoes; we only have 2 pairs of sneakers, 2 pairs of buckled shoes, 3 pairs of flats, 2 pairs of lace-ups, 2 pairs of peep-toes, 2 pairs of sandals, 3 pairs of boots, 4 pairs of pumps, a pair of tennis shoes, the shoes I was ‘gifted’ on my birthday and that pair of fancy gladiators. In matters related, we choose clothes to wear depending on our moods, the kind of event, the people we’re going to hang out with, the weather, the topography, the altitude etc. Our outfits allow us to communicate without saying a word. Furthermore, that pretty jacket in that stall matches with like four of my outfits; of course I’ll buy it, even though I already have 7 jackets in my closet. If the world wants us to stop buying more clothes, they should stop creating new clothing lines and making new clothes!
2. Why we talk endlessly with our girlfriends… even though we just saw them a day ago. Oh you do not know how much can happen in just a day. You see us women, are more perceptive and more receptive to emotional signals than men are. When a man attends an event, he will probably remember the friends he met and the food he ate. On the other hand, women remember e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g! Who was there, with whom, wearing what, and saying what about who. She will remember every single of her favorite songs that was played, how her shoes felt halfway through the event, the people she bumped into, what they talked about, what shoes they were wearing, who wore the new lipstick line, what hairstyle the host had on, what new gossip was dished out, how their neighbour seemed a bit drunk, how she made eye contact with her crush, the colour and taste of the new drink she tasted…I could go on forever. The thing is, women attach emotions and opinions to memories, which makes it a lot harder to forget. That is why we remember what you did ten years ago. Not because of what you did specifically, but because of how it/you made us feel.
3. Why we take so long in the bathroom… and why we go in pairs. A bathroom is not just a place to pee, it’s a venue for a series of events. This is how it typically would go:
*walks into the bathroom laughing at a joke one of us made*
“Ooh pretty-looking sinks, and my gosh the size of that mirror!”
“I know! Look at the way the dark marble surface matches with the walls. I’d totally have that in my house.”
*Check ourselves out as we wait for everyone to go pee*
*Do some makeup touch-ups*
*Make sure our hair is still in place*
* Probably take bathroom selfies*
“That painting on the wall reminds me of nani’s house. You remember last month when we….
*Reminiscence on that house, its interior design, that friend, and that day*
*Catch up on that event that same friend did not attend while we moisturize*
*Comment on how nice the handwash and bathroom lotion smells and how soft it makes our skin*
*Compare it with the ones at the last restaurant/hotel we went to*
*Discuss how hot the waiter serving us is*
“BTW I love you dress! It looks amazing on you.”
“Thanks. But I love your shoes more. Where did you get them?”
*Compliment each other on our choice of outfit and discuss where we bought each item*
*Confirm that we do not have any sauce stains on our clothes or salad between our teeth*
*A quick touch-up on our lipgloss before we head out*
30 minutes later…
4. Shopping is a social activity… and may as well be considered a hobby. No we don’t just walk to the aisle or stall, grab something from the shelf or hanger, then head for the cashier. Shopping is an enjoyable activity. This is the time we get to check out new stuff, new trends, and match everything we see with an item in our closet (remember our good memory). It’s like a game and a pastime wrapped up in one. We have to try out all the clothes we liked in the shop and twirl in front of the mirror for a better visual effect- whether we will buy them or not. We get to compare prices in the different shops, and note down things we’d want to buy the following month. Plus did you see that blue flowery skirt? It looked like what Eva Longoria wore in that show! And these shoes will totally go with the dress I plan to wear in nani’s wedding. Oh no I don’t have black heels in my closet, we have to get me some nice black pair. Nuuh, those ones are too big. Ooh ooh try these ones, they are a perfect height. Then let’s try out the denim overall and see how we look! Ooohh that sombrero is the one. It’s Leila’s birthday next month, and she’ll totally love this handbag!
Can you feel all the excitement?!
5. Why it takes us long to get ready to go out… or get ready for bed. Have you seen all the beauty products and hair-equipment on that dresser? Well, they all have to be used before we are ready to go out (and removed before we go to bed). We also have to pick out an outfit and the perfect shoes, handbag and jewellery to go with it. Of course I have to try out a series of outfits before I choose the one. Maybe I might remember how that fashion blogger used that belt to spice up her outfit, maybe not. I wonder what Rhodah is wearing today?
“Hey Rhods. Are we doing skirts or jeggings today?”
*Discuss further on the ootd*
Several outfits later, we move on to our make-up and hair.
Considering the nail polish we have on doesn’t match that perfect outfit we finally settled on, and it’s 2 days old, we have no choice but to apply another colour. It’s a process: we have to remove the old polish, then clean our nails/hands, apply the base coat, wait about two minutes to dry, apply the first coat, wait another two minutes to dry, then apply the second coat and wait for it to dry completely. By this time your look is complete, so you’ll probably take several selfies, select the best out of the a hundred you took and upload it on instagram, with a caption like “Going out with my girls (or bae). My eyebrows game still strong” then tag 25 of your instagram friends.
An hour and a half later…