I have decided that every Tuesday, I will (try to) upload a post that is a list of 10. I found out that this helps me learn a lot from others, allows me to discover more about myself, keeps me on my feet, gives my mind a boost, and well…I just love challenges, so not 5, not 6, not 7, but 10! And that’s why I call it ‘Ten Tuesday’! So why not start with one of the most socially controversial issues: here are ten reasons I would want to marry a man wealthier than me…
Whenever I’m asked about what kind of person would I want to marry, I go all in and mention it all. Maybe now that I’m older, my ‘list of attributes’ has developed in some way due to the added experience and I guess maturity, but let’s face it, finances are a big deal. And yes, I would want to marry a man who is as successful as I am, but hopefully more successful. Now I bet some of you are already talking about how women love money and blah blah blah gold-digger blah blah…but I have enough reasons to stand by this resolution. Read on, then tell me if you feel me.
1. I believe I’m a quite the hardworking woman, let’s start with that. I like to plan my life through and get things done. Well, most of it at least. It would be nice to know that my husband is as hardworking as I am, in fact more than I am. Men are intrinsically built to be providers and protectors, and they can’t help but feel like they should be the head of the family. A man who is financially superior than the wife, is more likely to show the above traits.
2. Which brings me to the ego issue… Men are egoistic beings. A wife who earns substantially more than her husband does messes up with his ego. And even if they would not admit it, most men are a bit intimidated by a woman who earns a lot more than they do. More often than not, this phenomenon pushes him to be either of these two personalities. One, the said man will somehow feel inadequate, inferior and somewhat ridiculed both in public and in private, whenever the woman is lavishly being herself. If not, then two, the man will overdo his alpha habits and double-up his egoistic behaviours just to prove that he is the ‘man of the house’. Heard of men who beat their wives, mistreats them, or suppresses their wives’ self-esteem just so they could feel superior? Yeah, both of these two possible outcomes are annoying af.
3. Men who are financially inferior to their wives are more likely to place more responsibilities on their wives. Since the lady has a bigger paycheck, the man would expect the lady to take care of more bills as a justification in their ‘partnership’. Oh no you wouldn’t! I want my man responsible and in-charge. I would not let my salary figure make the man I marry lazy. I refuse.
4. I want my man to spoil me and our kids. I want him to buy us gifts, take us places, and surprise me with stuff. I mean how else am I supposed to feel materialistically cherished?? If I can do all that by myself, then I sure hope he can too. I mean, he has to bring something more to the table you know. However, a man who has less than me would probably hesitate to buy me stuff because he thinks I already have them, or that I can buy them for myself. So to be considerate, I would definitely not want to be in the way of my husband’s romantic, generous, and indulgent gestures.
5. I do not want my marriage to be a competition! If I am wealthier than my husband, men being men, he might take this as a challenge and may turn into that guy who competes financially and professionally with his wife. I do not want my husband to ever feel that he needs to prove himself to me, well not financially or professionally at least. So yes, I want a partnership in marriage, not a tournament.
Again, this is me being considerate of his feelings.
6. So……it turns out I can considered to be quite intimidating sometimes. I guess you can say I am that type of lady who is not afraid to speak up, speak out, participate, and most of all, go after what she wants. All this considered, adding having more wealth on top of all that might not help the situation as far as my man is concerned. Fragile egos and all. As much as it’s a tempting thought, I honestly do not want a man that would readily dance to my every single whim and fancies- all the time. It would be nice to have a man who is on top of his game, a man who makes his own decisions, a man who is confident and who demands respect…and for some reason, successful men tend to have these qualities.
7. Let’s admit it, men like to feel needed (and wanted of course). A husband feels good to be needed by his wife and kids- both emotionally and financially. It gives them purpose. If I am wealthier than my husband, I would feel compelled to pay more bills and buy more stuff, and in the end, the kids (and myself) will depend more on me than my husband. I have a feeling that won’t go down so well.
8. It’s no secret that arguing about money often puts a lot of strain on a relationship. According to a survey of people in a relationship or partnership released by SunTrust Bank, finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship. That being said, I believe it will be less stressful if both I and my husband are two financially successful people, as opposed to me being successful, and him not. Furthermore, I would not want to- ever- be tempted to cheat on him, in whatever way, with a man outside my marriage, who can do a lot more for me than my husband. The devil is a liar!
9. Wealth is not just money in the bank. Wealth represent good food on the table, clothes on our backs, good healthcare, ease of transport, good schools for our kids, owning property, no debts, traveling to beautiful places (because my camera can only take so many photos of Hells Gate), being able to be there for our family and friends, and most importantly, good WiFi. So yeah, living that good carefree life on this planet of ours is not cheap, so it would be nice to know that my husband can chip in as much as I can, if not more. I mean, I’ll bear him kids, the least he could do is provide and care for us, you know.
10. And my last reason (yeah, I bet you didn’t think I would get to ten huh…) Listen, everybody aspires to earn more and have more so that they can get more out of life. Here I am trying to get more skills, learning about investments, trudging to manage my financial resources effectively for a lifetime of great financial well-being, so obviously, when I’m ready for marriage, I would want to marry a man who knows what he’s doing with his life. I do not plan to take up a boy with adolescent tendencies and with no goals or purpose. Life is too short, and as Jennifer Lopez put it, I ain’t your mama.
As you can see, I have reasons enough to not marry a man less financially able than me. I’m sorry, I just would not want to- given a choice. And if I did, there would be no one to blame but me when my man starts to act undesirably. Not to say that there are no good men out there who earn less than their wives, I’m just saying I’d prefer not to risk it. We need to have somewhat similar financial priorities. Plus marriage is hard enough without the additional stress that comes with financial drama. Yeah, I know, I’m speaking like I am married already even though I’m not, but it’s not like married people hide their issues from us anyway! *rolls my eyes* So I do wish my future husband all the best in his endeavours. Let us peacefully join in matrimony ready to love, honor, cherish (each other), and fight against all the excess baggage that comes with two people of the opposite gender living together- let’s just not make finances one of them. Thank you in advance.